I'm not sure why today is different than any other day, oh wait. It started at 3am, when baby girl decided to wake. No bottle and straight to bed, oh no bottle and stay up terrorising us with her kicks and prods and continuous moving around in our bed. Have to have a laugh now, it was pretty funny. Except when the daytime set in and OH was getting ready to leave for work, after realising it was late. Rush all around I tell you. BG spent a good 15 minutes crying for her daddy, looking under the unit door to see if his footsteps would return, sadly no. So it was just us two left to get ready for our day at the hospital. Arghh I so don't feel up to it. Stupid poking and prodding, blood tests, questions and then finally Immunity Treatment to end the session. NHL is so not my cup of tea. I'm left to sit and think and dream if such a thing exists in me anymore. I'm missing the friends Ive made on BnB, the only ones who understand where my heads at right now. The only ones I can relate similar pain from loss to. Thoughts of the day we lost her our Star, come floating back, especially the things we could have done as a collective family to memorialise her on her Angelversary.
It got me thinking about charity work again and how much I want to get involved somehow. So in a way today was eventful and positive in the fact that I was going to start a charity to memorialise our Star forever. I want her legacy to be remembered and to wipe the smirk off peoples faces when I do, for the fact they slandered my Stars name and memory and I wont sit back and let people victimise me like that. Another good distraction is a pending christening for two little boys. So my thought processes have been focused there as well. Healing is most certainly happening in my life, just my resentment towards my partners family has not helped. But I will prevail.
It got me thinking about charity work again and how much I want to get involved somehow. So in a way today was eventful and positive in the fact that I was going to start a charity to memorialise our Star forever. I want her legacy to be remembered and to wipe the smirk off peoples faces when I do, for the fact they slandered my Stars name and memory and I wont sit back and let people victimise me like that. Another good distraction is a pending christening for two little boys. So my thought processes have been focused there as well. Healing is most certainly happening in my life, just my resentment towards my partners family has not helped. But I will prevail.
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